My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
