Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
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