Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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