I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
