I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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