Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I think my moral compass just broke
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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