Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Let's get the cat blown out
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
