put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize