My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
