idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
