Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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