I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
