A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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