I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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