11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
