just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
