Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize