he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
