I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
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