So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
