im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
