that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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