help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize