we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Im just a social blackout drinker.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
