Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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