What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
