my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
