So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
