eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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