Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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