why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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