ADVERTISEMENT

• (315): View more from New York

  You smell like a Billy Joel song

  Fav 7 1113 2293

  share tweet
  

• (410): View more from Maryland

  I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?

  Fav 76 21308 1441

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons

  Fav 15 6660 1140

  share tweet
  

• (315): View more from New York

  Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.

  Fav 10 4402 1259

  share tweet
  
• 

  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (253): View more from Washington

  waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me

  Fav 11 6419 1637

  share tweet
  

• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  it was like getting a handjob from robocop

  Fav 15 1266 4335

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (519): View more from Ontario

  He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.

  Fav 11 1129 1419

  share tweet
  

• (630): View more from Illinois

  I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?

  Fav 11 841 1809

  share tweet
  

• (732): View more from New Jersey

  i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while

  Fav 4 1445 757

  share tweet
  
• 

  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (330): View more from Ohio

  Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm

  Fav 4 662 760

  share tweet
  

• (931): View more from Tennessee

  I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex

  Fav 5 324 974

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (519): View more from Ontario

  I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.

  Fav 5 770 188

  share tweet
  

• (407): View more from Florida

  He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.

  Fav 4 436 163

  share tweet
  

• (248): View more from Michigan

  I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?

  Fav 3 199 320

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (423): View more from Tennessee

  DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!

  Fav 2 53 16

  share tweet
  

Randomize