youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
tequila makes me forget i have legs
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said