Texts From Last Night

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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds

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  (860): And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds http://tfl.nu/xs1z
  Replies (112) Good night (3101) Bad night (979)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.

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  (618): he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic. http://tfl.nu/zq41
  Replies (7) Good night (2894) Bad night (715)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.

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  (203): I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny. http://tfl.nu/r59v
  Replies (17) Good night (812) Bad night (3989)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.

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  (903): The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while. http://tfl.nu/y23x
  Replies (21) Good night (7439) Bad night (1828)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old

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  (803): and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old http://tfl.nu/y7b8
  Replies (23) Good night (1901) Bad night (6878)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.

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  (541): Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid. http://tfl.nu/2ym3
  Replies (25) Good night (7616) Bad night (971)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.

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  (502): I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept. http://tfl.nu/hraq
  Replies (7) Good night (3435) Bad night (923)
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  (516): View more from New York

  i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher

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  (516): i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher http://tfl.nu/pmh4
  Replies (5) Good night (2396) Bad night (1050)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.

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  (813): For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club. http://tfl.nu/n6ph
  Replies (18) Good night (682) Bad night (1585)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.

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  (678): We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around. http://tfl.nu/u4a3
  Replies (8) Good night (1026) Bad night (525)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends

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  (480): there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends http://tfl.nu/jsju
  Replies (6) Good night (1473) Bad night (613)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.

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  (269): Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done. http://tfl.nu/tz4a
  Replies (6) Good night (1183) Bad night (517)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.

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  (+44): Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed. http://tfl.nu/fgrh
  Replies (7) Good night (1461) Bad night (531)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.

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  (704): If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again. http://tfl.nu/0rol
  Replies (8) Good night (704) Bad night (336)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.

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  (508): Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem. http://tfl.nu/hw0f
  Replies (5) Good night (1426) Bad night (380)

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