No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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