I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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