I'm lost and stupid without you.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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