Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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