I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
