Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize