I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
