College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
