yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
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You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
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Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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