Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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