I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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