so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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