There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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