Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
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