I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
