Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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