i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
