This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Your shirt... Was in my pants
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
