Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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