hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
