North Korea, Best Korea!
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
