Do you still have your period?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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