Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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