We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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