So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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