3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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