dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
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He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
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I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
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