very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
