Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize